"Może brakować mi słów, ale nigdy własnego zdania."

From general perspective this week was really good for me, even if I remember sitting in school without seeing a reason or being overstressed (this is what happens when you skip the only class where your grades really matter and then you try to project a perfect toddler room but on the end of period everything disappears and you almost run amok thinking about all those stuff you have to finish for “yesterday” and  the nice perspective of being in school until 7pm and you feel like lying on a floor and crying. That’s it, when considering my New Year’s resolution to stop worrying that much).

But why did I even skipped a class, you ask. Well, that’s a long story, and not interesting at all (during all snow days I learnt one thing- if you don’t have car you don’t skip classes because the only thing you can do is sit at home watching TV. And what’s the point of truancy in country that gives you day off every two weeks anyway?). Anyway since November Global Diplomacy teacher was talking about some weird thing called Model United Nations (MUN). And County MUN. And MUN Simulation. And because he usually talks a lot and tries to scare us more than it’s necessary, for my own mental health I’ve decided not to listen (you all know that high school teacher that says the word ‘matura’ five billion times a period and makes it a bigger deal than it really is. So here, instead of saying ‘SAT’ they say ‘college’. I heard sentence ‘when you go to college…’ so many times during that class, that American universities are either hell on earth and no one leaves alive or someone doesn’t know much about motivating teenagers). I had heard date “8^th January” every day, listening to teacher who truly believed that on that day our lives are going to end because we wouldn’t know enough about drones. So I was attending the class ignoring the ongoing date until Christmas break when I actually decided to do some research and work (mostly because printing few articles was worth 300 points, and it’s A LOT).  So I turned it in, happily ignoring negative thoughts sent from the teacher (I suppose I would be negative too if I talked entire day about how messed up situation in Syria is, how many civilians drones kill, and how much money US owe to China) when he mentioned something about skipping entire day for this 8^th January thing. So I did the same thing I do every time he says something I’m flustered about. I raised my hand and said: “excuse me, sir, but I’m confused”. It happens often, as he usually assumes that we know things that are obvious for him, and we don’t. People are a little afraid to ask, because it may cause a ten minute long lecture about how we don’t review our notes and how this country is going to depend on our knowledge soon, but I’m on privileged position of foreigner, who decided not to let her innocent mind to be influenced by world’s cruelty more than necessary, so she pretends not to understand what happens from time to time. On that day, I (and all other people in class) found out that MUN simulation is going to take entire day and there will be two more high schools taking part in it.

So on 8^th January we arrived to auditorium, overwhelmed by amount of people there, saying prayers to whatever-we-believed-in not to make us speak in front of all those people (I discovered that I have a social phobia and I’m afraid to speak in front of big number of people without being in charge and practicing at least twice). Our prayers were heard and the group were split into three smaller groups. We started debate, the very formal one, with speakers’ list and certain things you have to do or say. First hour was fairly interesting, and with every minute after that hour attention I paid in what was going on decreased and interest in ‘shooting’ (silly theatre-kids game) Shawn increased. For over six hours I was dissertating with Aaron about life, and on the end we just tried not to laugh too loud.

There was one moment, when I had to go and speak. I’ve been working on Poland’s statements on drones in cyber terrorism (someone said that it’s racist that a polish chick always have to do polish point of view but I don’t wine- half of materials in my folder were in polish only half-related to subject, because Polish government doesn’t really have a certain opinion on those issues. They have on gay people, though). So I read that few sentences I had prepared and when I was getting ready to run back to my seat teacher decided that it’s a good idea to offer that “Maria came from Poland and it would be so cool if she end her statement in polish”. So I ended up my statement saying that “czuję się bardzo niekomfortowo mówiąc po polsku w takim otoczeniu” and trying not to draw any more attention. But apparently it worked out well, as I got 100% on simulation, while most people ended up with 80%.

On the very next day I realized that I see sexism in situations other people wouldn’t even think about it.
On Thursday (9.01) I was in school for about 12 hours. I started with all my classes, than took part in dress rehearsal to one acts and just after that the ski trip meeting occurred.
Meeting was informative. After half of hour or so the Global teacher (who is one of the main organizers) moved from general safety to behavior on slopes and hotel. Basic stuff like necessity of cleaning your own room from time to time. Just when he said that the second organizer, the women working in media center (fancy name for library) started up and excitement in voice said: “Girls! And we will make a cleaning contest, like we do every year!” Audience giggled and I started breathing heavily. GIRLS!? GIRLS will have a cleaning contest? And what if a GIRL does not want to take part in this obnoxiously sexist event? If a girl does not agree to be graded for how clean she is able to keep her living space!? So what, maybe we will make also making sandwich contest, and washing dishes contest and making laundry contest for GIRLS and after that we will have a ski race for boys? Because they have penises, you know, and people without penises are made to serve those who were lucky enough to be born with them, DUUUH. Why we are even allowed to go to school, when there is so many chores to be done!?

So I was trying not to show everyone around how stupid I think they are, when Global Teacher did something I look up to him for, even if he probably didn’t realize how important it was. He started making fun, moved his body in certain way, as if he was saying “so u think u better than us, girl?” and yelled: “and we will make our own cleaning contest! ONLY FOR BOYS!”.

In this moment I’d like to share an article that matches the subject.. Right here.
And as you probably won’t read it anyway, I’ll presume and post my favorite part right here.

"Same-sex spouses, who cannot divide their labor based on preexisting gender norms, must approach marriage differently than their heterosexual peers. From sex to fighting, from child-rearing to chores, they must hammer out every last detail of domestic life without falling back on assumptions about who will do what. In this regard, they provide an example that can be enlightening to all couples. Critics warn of an institution rendered “genderless.” But if a genderless marriage is a marriage in which the wife is not automatically expected to be responsible for school forms and child care and dinner preparation and birthday parties and midnight feedings and holiday shopping, I think it’s fair to say that many heterosexual women would cry “Bring it on!”"

On Friday (10.01) we had 2-hour delay in school and praise the Lord, as it was really long day. After school I stayed in theatre room waiting for one-acts to start. When they started I had to wait through four of them and intermission to finally perform. After show and quick cleaning-up (both boys and girls, BTW) we headed to cast&crew party, which would be fun if I could think about something else than sleeping. Additionally I really miss polish way of partying. But maybe it’s just my friends, not totality.

"I fell. I think I just fell in love with you."

Sunday (13.01) was very exciting, as we finally travelled to Pennsylvania to meet other exchange students! Both I and Justus got a ride with Nate’s parents (Nate is a future outbound), Nate himself, his best friend and little sister (who announced that she’s four and a half). It was hard to listen to Nate’s speculation to which of three listed countries he will go knowing that India is already waiting for him.

We arrived, put food we prepared on special table (I was showing off with racuchy, Justus with something looking similar to our schabowe, but made with beef) and started socializing. A lot of speeches and food later, future outbounds were finally able to find out where they are going. Back home I remember my parents getting a phone call when I got accepted to go to US, here it is much fancier. They knew they were accepted for few weeks, but they didn’t know where they are going.

All future outbounds lined up and one of people in charge was asking them to tell what their three choices were. After a future exchange student shared, person in charge was yelling to my exchange officer&host dad hidden behind a curtain; “sooo, where XXX is going, Chris?”. Chris was coming out from behind the curtain with a big flag of country student got accepted to and student was turning around to see it. I was a little bit jealous that next year they are going to have fun, and I’m going to study but at the same time I’m really happy for them. Especially for Ian, who is going to Poland. I’ve known it before, so I warned Bartek and two of us decided to stand up after Ian saw his flag and everyone was clapping. Our little flash mod was nothing after the noise Brasilian kids did when one of Americans got a Brasilian flag.

Me, X, Nate (going to India), X (going to Japan), Justus (from Germany), Lily (going to Taiwan)

Future outbounds.

Pennsylvanian inbounds&future outbounds. On a right side of Ian there's Bartek.

We came back home around 11pm and that was the only thing I remember from a weekend.