"Nie bedziesz nic znał, jeśli nie opuścisz swojego pokoju"-F.H. Burnett "Tajemniczy ogród"

I’m enjoying my exchange more and more with every week I manage to survive in an American jungle (actually it’s not that hard, but I felt like writing it). Last time on Rotary meeting we got an "exchange student survival kit", a book that is meant for students getting ready for a year abroad program. (I was preying on that book back home, however prizes I would have to pay made me throw all papers in the air and say “screw it, I’m an natural survivor, I ain’t need any book!”). It’s a little unfortunate that we got them almost in halfway through our exchanges, however I’m glad I had a chance to read it even if I knew most of things they were talking about. It’s something you understand and get to know as you live through your exchange- maybe you are not able to fancy name phases, but as you read a book you can recognize that things they talk about are exactly the ones you have been going through. It helped to neaten my frantic thoughts and taught me that phase I’m going through is called a “culture learning”; it starts around 5^th month (I was celebrating my 5 months in US on 16^th January!) and lasts until almost last month of exchange. It basically means that I stopped judging everything around and comparing it to my home country and started living a life near to one a native student may live and assimilating to culture well. I’m not longer such a novelty in school, everyone got used having a foreigner in class and now, I think, they are no longer interested in listening “how we do stuff in Poland” but rather in finding me out as a person, treating me equally to all other students. I’m also busier than I was before, however I truly hope it’s not only a period in my exchange but that my experience will keep this pace.

This week I had my internships and as I got used to them I don’t see a necessity of sharing every tiny moment of them here, in public. On the other hand I’d like to tell you what happened on Monday (13.01), as it was something that made my entire day, even if you will probably consider it unimportant.
Internship started normally, without any problems, I was helping with math games, adding and subtracting up to 20, when suddenly speakers in classroom made alarming sound. I started up (I don’t know why, but every time I hear an alarm I think that it’s a shooting and I’ll die) which drew a smile on teacher’s face, telling me not to worry, it’s only a trial fire alarm. It turned out to be true, as after every three sounds we heard a calm voice giving us instructions from somewhere above our heads. “beeep beeep beeep, it’s an emergency, beeeep, beeep, beeep, please head to a safe zone, beep beep beeep”. Kids knew perfectly what to do and lined up at the door to follow the teacher in a way out of the school. I was standing on the end, to make sure no one pulls away and to turn off the lights. When we were about to leave the voice was still instructing us. “beeep, beeep, beeep, please do not use an elevator, beep beep beep”, one of this six-year-old girls looked at me (and I’m twice as tall as she is), with facial expression showing that she thinks people are idiots and told “we don’t even HAVE an elevator here” and almost rolled her eyes.

Not much had happened for a rest of the school week, but Friday (17.01) was off and I started having fun right after I boarded a coach bus, which was the most comfortable bus I had a chance to travel in. We were going to 7springs, a ski resort in Pennsylvania to spend a really nice weekend freezing our toes to death. I have a love-hate relationship with skiing, and I can’t decide if I enjoy landscapes and activity itself more than I suffer from cold, but truth is that I can’t imagine a winter without bruising my calves and schuss down the slope.

After four and half drive we arrived to a hotel and I noticed a big cultural difference. In our four-person room which I shared with three other girls there were only two beds. Big ones, king-sized, perfect for two people but I wouldn’t have expected it, as back home every time I travelled somewhere and were placed in room for four there were four beds. I didn’t know the girls I was sharing room with, but I decided that “it’s awkward only if you make it awkward” and dealt with it as an adult. On the other hand boys in room not far from ours were taking turns in sleeping on a floor.

Just after we arrived, we’ve rented whatever we needed to rent and hit the slopes for night skiing. That’s thing I really enjoyed that I didn’t know before- nigh skiing. In Pennsylvania they open lifts at 9 and run them until 3:30-4, and then again around 6 and run them until 10 (or 9 on north part of the mountain). We were required to ski with a buddy just in case something happen, so I paired up with girls from my room (I hardly knew anyone else). I understand the purpose of the rule, but it was very frustrating to ski with a girl who didn’t know she should have goggles and one who was snowboarding first time in her lifetime. That’s why I was extremely happy when I realized that only other person I know, TJ (guy who was sitting on my right side during “12 angry jurors” and played a gay man in one acts) actually CAN snowboard and is willing to go to black slopes with me. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN, even if I missed Austria a little (especially the view from the top of a mountain and multitude&length of slopes).

Staying in hotel of that kind was also a new experience for me. Not only that I had to share a bed with nearly a stranger, but going to breakfast and having a smartly dressed waitress only waiting to pour me more orange juice and make all my sophisticated dreams come true, as well as being able to go to pool, bowling or roller blading for free (I mean in a prize of a room) being surrounded with people who behaved as if they were there to make me happy. In a long run it would be very easy to forget that I’m not any better than they are, but fortunately I haven’t had a chance to start feeling comfortable with being treated royally. Last time I felt similar way was on a plane to USA, after being used to take a cheap airlines. I think I embarrassed myself asking a flying attendant if I have to pay for all the stuff she was giving me. Oh well, better this way than being a spoiled rich kid.

On Monday (20.01) school also were closed because of Martin Luther King Day.

Do you remember Nate who’s going to India next year, and his family who gave a lift to me and Justus last time for an exchange-kids event when outbounds found out where they are going? So apparently they liked me enough (who doesn’t, I’m awesome) that they’ve decided to host me for the rest of my stay in USA (time for applause!). 

My exchange officer (and current host dad) was working on that for some time already, and today we visited my future family so I could say hi and they could get some documents straight.

After they feed me with homemade cake (it was actually made with ingredients, and tasted real, not plastic) and gave me a tour around the house. So since next weekend I’m going to have a four year old sister, brother almost my age, sister in college and… two Korean host brothers from different exchange program. One of them is 21, studies in community college in town and has been staying with this family for almost 3 years now, other one (his biological brother) is a freshman in high school and arrived to States around the same time I did. I have never had an experience with living with males other than younger brothers or dads, so having brother my age and older seems very appealing and I’m extraordinarily excited, which is a good sign, as in a morning I was rather anxious. On the other hand my second host family, the current one was just perfect and I wish I could split and live with both families at the same time! 

"Może brakować mi słów, ale nigdy własnego zdania."

From general perspective this week was really good for me, even if I remember sitting in school without seeing a reason or being overstressed (this is what happens when you skip the only class where your grades really matter and then you try to project a perfect toddler room but on the end of period everything disappears and you almost run amok thinking about all those stuff you have to finish for “yesterday” and  the nice perspective of being in school until 7pm and you feel like lying on a floor and crying. That’s it, when considering my New Year’s resolution to stop worrying that much).

But why did I even skipped a class, you ask. Well, that’s a long story, and not interesting at all (during all snow days I learnt one thing- if you don’t have car you don’t skip classes because the only thing you can do is sit at home watching TV. And what’s the point of truancy in country that gives you day off every two weeks anyway?). Anyway since November Global Diplomacy teacher was talking about some weird thing called Model United Nations (MUN). And County MUN. And MUN Simulation. And because he usually talks a lot and tries to scare us more than it’s necessary, for my own mental health I’ve decided not to listen (you all know that high school teacher that says the word ‘matura’ five billion times a period and makes it a bigger deal than it really is. So here, instead of saying ‘SAT’ they say ‘college’. I heard sentence ‘when you go to college…’ so many times during that class, that American universities are either hell on earth and no one leaves alive or someone doesn’t know much about motivating teenagers). I had heard date “8^th January” every day, listening to teacher who truly believed that on that day our lives are going to end because we wouldn’t know enough about drones. So I was attending the class ignoring the ongoing date until Christmas break when I actually decided to do some research and work (mostly because printing few articles was worth 300 points, and it’s A LOT).  So I turned it in, happily ignoring negative thoughts sent from the teacher (I suppose I would be negative too if I talked entire day about how messed up situation in Syria is, how many civilians drones kill, and how much money US owe to China) when he mentioned something about skipping entire day for this 8^th January thing. So I did the same thing I do every time he says something I’m flustered about. I raised my hand and said: “excuse me, sir, but I’m confused”. It happens often, as he usually assumes that we know things that are obvious for him, and we don’t. People are a little afraid to ask, because it may cause a ten minute long lecture about how we don’t review our notes and how this country is going to depend on our knowledge soon, but I’m on privileged position of foreigner, who decided not to let her innocent mind to be influenced by world’s cruelty more than necessary, so she pretends not to understand what happens from time to time. On that day, I (and all other people in class) found out that MUN simulation is going to take entire day and there will be two more high schools taking part in it.

So on 8^th January we arrived to auditorium, overwhelmed by amount of people there, saying prayers to whatever-we-believed-in not to make us speak in front of all those people (I discovered that I have a social phobia and I’m afraid to speak in front of big number of people without being in charge and practicing at least twice). Our prayers were heard and the group were split into three smaller groups. We started debate, the very formal one, with speakers’ list and certain things you have to do or say. First hour was fairly interesting, and with every minute after that hour attention I paid in what was going on decreased and interest in ‘shooting’ (silly theatre-kids game) Shawn increased. For over six hours I was dissertating with Aaron about life, and on the end we just tried not to laugh too loud.

There was one moment, when I had to go and speak. I’ve been working on Poland’s statements on drones in cyber terrorism (someone said that it’s racist that a polish chick always have to do polish point of view but I don’t wine- half of materials in my folder were in polish only half-related to subject, because Polish government doesn’t really have a certain opinion on those issues. They have on gay people, though). So I read that few sentences I had prepared and when I was getting ready to run back to my seat teacher decided that it’s a good idea to offer that “Maria came from Poland and it would be so cool if she end her statement in polish”. So I ended up my statement saying that “czuję się bardzo niekomfortowo mówiąc po polsku w takim otoczeniu” and trying not to draw any more attention. But apparently it worked out well, as I got 100% on simulation, while most people ended up with 80%.

On the very next day I realized that I see sexism in situations other people wouldn’t even think about it.
On Thursday (9.01) I was in school for about 12 hours. I started with all my classes, than took part in dress rehearsal to one acts and just after that the ski trip meeting occurred.
Meeting was informative. After half of hour or so the Global teacher (who is one of the main organizers) moved from general safety to behavior on slopes and hotel. Basic stuff like necessity of cleaning your own room from time to time. Just when he said that the second organizer, the women working in media center (fancy name for library) started up and excitement in voice said: “Girls! And we will make a cleaning contest, like we do every year!” Audience giggled and I started breathing heavily. GIRLS!? GIRLS will have a cleaning contest? And what if a GIRL does not want to take part in this obnoxiously sexist event? If a girl does not agree to be graded for how clean she is able to keep her living space!? So what, maybe we will make also making sandwich contest, and washing dishes contest and making laundry contest for GIRLS and after that we will have a ski race for boys? Because they have penises, you know, and people without penises are made to serve those who were lucky enough to be born with them, DUUUH. Why we are even allowed to go to school, when there is so many chores to be done!?

So I was trying not to show everyone around how stupid I think they are, when Global Teacher did something I look up to him for, even if he probably didn’t realize how important it was. He started making fun, moved his body in certain way, as if he was saying “so u think u better than us, girl?” and yelled: “and we will make our own cleaning contest! ONLY FOR BOYS!”.

In this moment I’d like to share an article that matches the subject.. Right here.
And as you probably won’t read it anyway, I’ll presume and post my favorite part right here.

"Same-sex spouses, who cannot divide their labor based on preexisting gender norms, must approach marriage differently than their heterosexual peers. From sex to fighting, from child-rearing to chores, they must hammer out every last detail of domestic life without falling back on assumptions about who will do what. In this regard, they provide an example that can be enlightening to all couples. Critics warn of an institution rendered “genderless.” But if a genderless marriage is a marriage in which the wife is not automatically expected to be responsible for school forms and child care and dinner preparation and birthday parties and midnight feedings and holiday shopping, I think it’s fair to say that many heterosexual women would cry “Bring it on!”"

On Friday (10.01) we had 2-hour delay in school and praise the Lord, as it was really long day. After school I stayed in theatre room waiting for one-acts to start. When they started I had to wait through four of them and intermission to finally perform. After show and quick cleaning-up (both boys and girls, BTW) we headed to cast&crew party, which would be fun if I could think about something else than sleeping. Additionally I really miss polish way of partying. But maybe it’s just my friends, not totality.

"I fell. I think I just fell in love with you."

Sunday (13.01) was very exciting, as we finally travelled to Pennsylvania to meet other exchange students! Both I and Justus got a ride with Nate’s parents (Nate is a future outbound), Nate himself, his best friend and little sister (who announced that she’s four and a half). It was hard to listen to Nate’s speculation to which of three listed countries he will go knowing that India is already waiting for him.

We arrived, put food we prepared on special table (I was showing off with racuchy, Justus with something looking similar to our schabowe, but made with beef) and started socializing. A lot of speeches and food later, future outbounds were finally able to find out where they are going. Back home I remember my parents getting a phone call when I got accepted to go to US, here it is much fancier. They knew they were accepted for few weeks, but they didn’t know where they are going.

All future outbounds lined up and one of people in charge was asking them to tell what their three choices were. After a future exchange student shared, person in charge was yelling to my exchange officer&host dad hidden behind a curtain; “sooo, where XXX is going, Chris?”. Chris was coming out from behind the curtain with a big flag of country student got accepted to and student was turning around to see it. I was a little bit jealous that next year they are going to have fun, and I’m going to study but at the same time I’m really happy for them. Especially for Ian, who is going to Poland. I’ve known it before, so I warned Bartek and two of us decided to stand up after Ian saw his flag and everyone was clapping. Our little flash mod was nothing after the noise Brasilian kids did when one of Americans got a Brasilian flag.

Me, X, Nate (going to India), X (going to Japan), Justus (from Germany), Lily (going to Taiwan)

Future outbounds.

Pennsylvanian inbounds&future outbounds. On a right side of Ian there's Bartek.

We came back home around 11pm and that was the only thing I remember from a weekend. 

"How can it be 'dirty dancing', if there is no twerking?" -Eli

Monday (30.12) was a day of enjoying having sisters (I love having sisters. I. LOVE. HAVING. SISTERS.) and shopping (ajajajajajajaj, I bought so many colorful tights, just because they were colorful, that now I need to purchase more not-long skirts!). I discovered that my credit card was blocked owing to the most foolish reason in the world. I just simply… spend too little money, that it is highly suspicious.

Tuesday (31.12) morning I was sitting on my favorite couch, conscience-stricken about homework I was supposed to work on during entire break, when my host dad offered a little ride to town center, as he has something to do there anyway. It was a perfect opportunity to pretend that I’m busy so I didn’t even wait a second. We dropped something round my host parent’s friend and then we headed home (at least that’s what I was thinking). When we turned into smaller road I saw tattoo&piercing parlor, so I started joking, if we can stop so I can get a huge tattoo on my back. When we actually stopped on parlor’s parking place I thought that dad is simply teasing me, especially that for a few last weeks I was pursuing him about some piercings I wish to do one day.
What I didn’t expect was that he wasn’t teasing me, but really decided to make me 18-birthday present. So I ended up with a dragon on my back, flame on my butt, pierced nose trill, lip and bellybutton (with wide chain between them).
Well, not really :)

I feel like people in USA don’t celebrate New Year’s Eve as much as we do back home, so we spent a few hours in my host parent’s friends’ house and I really, really, really enjoyed it. Back in Poland I always hung out with people my age and I was perfectly fine with it, but it doesn’t work this way anymore (I don’t know if high school kids are different here or maybe I’m different than I used to be, but something doesn’t match). Anyway- I had much more fun sitting with people almost my parent’s age than I would have with any other group I know here. Around 11 they sang “Happy Birthday” (I was born on 1^st January around 5 o’clock polish time) and me and my host dad headed home to watch New York’s square with host mom who didn't feel like leaving home.

Wednesday (1.01) was my first day of being an adult (as the matter of right, because- let me quote a guy whose relatedness to me is complicated that I don’t even know how to call him- “dorosła mogłam być już kilka lat wcześniej, lub mogę być za pare lat,ale od dzisiaj jestem PEŁNOLETNIA.”
I was receiving many wishes entire day, mostly from good friends (smart me decided to hide date of birth on facebook) and I’d like to thank you all again. Every single wish from home made me smile (I really liked that they were mostly personalized, only for me) and it made me look forward meeting all of you in summer! :)

I got this one with wishes of "all of these things". Yup, it's my face.

I was working hard to get my homework done, especially when I found out that I had forgot about part of that. But I did my research and created entire paper on Gender (the bad, homo-propagating Gender that we have to fight. I literally have no idea what I’m doing on exchange, while I should learn how to cook for my future husband. DUUUUUUH).
On the evening we ate birthday dinner, cake and I got a present. My host parents bought me a book I read about before I arrived  and I really wanted to read it! I have never mentioned it (I’m sure about it), so I’m even double-happy!

The author is close to my American Rotary, so my host dad contacted her personally asking for signing the book for me! She had a polish version in stack, so I appreciate it even more from my “you-shouldn’t-use-any-polish” dad. It was truly amusing to watch my American brother-in-law looking through it with ‘what kind of crazy language is that!?” expression on his face. And than they were even more entertained when I translated the polish title and talked a little about various improper translations of titles.

Card I've got from my host dad. 

On Thursday (2.01) the normal classes started again, and it was pain. It was also the last day I could enjoy my oldest sister and her family’s company, as they left on a very morning next day.

On Friday (3.01) all my prayers finally reached to Heaven and school was cancelled due to “snow day”. All in all, we got some snow (not like the last time), but it seem like they let us stay home every time I can’t wear sneakers (and honestly I wore them every day so far. EVERY. DAY).

Not much happened on Saturday (4.01), except that my host brother’s-in-law mom had birthday and I tried more Filipino food that I expected to eat during one day.

Sunday (5.01) was supposed to be a really good day, when I meet other exchange students and hand out with outbounds (American kids from the district who go for an exchange to various places next year). So we hit the road going to York, PA, through Washington. Just before we reached DC we got a phone call, that event is cancelled due to icy roads in Pennsylvania. So we ate in Belgian Restaurant where my youngest host sister works part time and came back to Leonardtown (good for us that we both like car trips).
Poor Ian who goes to Poland next year (and doesn’t know it yet) will have to wait to meet wonderful polish chick (me) a little bit more. Wooo-hooo, I’m soooo excited to be an rebound back home!